The Vow
by Anlynne
Summary: It happened... The worst possible thing to ever have happened and it was all of her fault.


The Vow

Volterra, Italy. It was a place that Bella Swan dreamt about every night. It was a beautiful city with its tall ancient buildings, but marred by the bloodless murder that took place there three months ago.

Had it really been three months? It seemed like forever. The days passed by in a hazy blur and the nights accompanied by that city. It wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. She had tossed and turned and screamed for a month before she left Charlie. She now lived with the grieving Cullen's. They loved having her, Esme dry-sobbing into her hair when she arrived with her bags. She hated it for what she must have been doing to Jasper, the only one who could sense and control emotions.

Carlisle had asked everyone to leave her be, especially Esme. To let her drown in peace. She was grateful for that. She was grateful that Emmett was even too distraught to tease her. Instead, he had tried to comfort her only to be rebuked by Esme for making her feel worse.

However, in her sleep her nightmares had diminished considerably. Every time before Edward and Alice were ripped apart, she inexplicably calmed. She suspected Jasper to be the reasoning behind it, but he was never there when she woke. She felt awful about it. She couldn't have been doing him any good. She was a wreck.

Bella moved to Forks over a year ago. That's when her life turned upside down. Against his better judgment Edward and her had befriended each other. After saving her from a van he thought it was apparent that she couldn't take care of herself, and they had been inseparable since then. She had become part of the family.

Then... It happened. The worst possibly thing to ever have happened, and it was all her fault.

A vampire by the name of Mitchell Brown, a family friend, had come to town for a visit. It was a last second decision, Alice didn't see. Esme told her to stay in the kitchen, but Mitchell smelled her. A human, in the Cullen household, in their kitchen, eating supper. He left suddenly, and minutes later Alice saw him in Italy, reporting to the Volturi.

Bella begged Edward and Alice to bite her, to make her one of them. Edward, again, refused. Alice was apologetic. Nothing, not even the threat of their family helped changed his mind. He was adamant and they went to Italy, and for the breaking of their laws, they died.

Carlisle and Jasper were the next to go, and no persuasion by any of the others stopped them. Jasper calmed the vampire royalty, giving themselves time, and in that time they promised what Edward did not: That Bella would be changed. Aro apologized relentlessly for the killing of Carlisle's son and daughter, Jasper's brother and sister. He explained that Edward had immediately said no to changing her, and Alice wasn't given a chance to show what was in her vision long before Edward befriended Bella.

Though she was living with the Cullen's she held off being changed. It was all she wanted, to be officially part of the family, to live with the people she came to love. She couldn't leave her father the way she was though. One day, perhaps she would get over the death of her friends, her brother and sister by all rights. If only they hadn't died because of her. If only she hadn't intruded upon them. It was all of her fault... All of it... She had to give her father last memories of her that wasn't painful for him. Could she do that?

Part of her family was gone. The nightmares lived on. Horrifyingly vivid. Could she ever move on from that?

She sat at Edward's piano for hours. She fingered the keys, never pressing down to make a sound. It didn't make sense, but she thought Edward should have the last sound. Much less than the fact she could never compose anything half as beautiful, it was his piano, his fingers that had touched the keys, and that should be respected. It wasn't hers. It was his. And she was afraid if she struck that chord, that she would break. It would be the last tug of the string that would unravel her completely.

Without a sound, without a scuffle of a footstep, Jasper was sitting next to her. He wasn't careful about scaring her, because he could taste her emotions, he never worried about causing fear, and knew it was an insult to her to put on an act. He wasn't human, and to her, it was normal.

She was aware that he was close, watchful. He never stayed too near to her though. Sitting next to her the way he was, was as close as he had come to her in a long while. Since James' attempt at making her his meal. He let her go through her own emotions without assistance, but at the same time, he kept her together when she couldn't do so herself. He eased her nightmares so she could sleep.

Jasper and her never had a close relationship. Edward asked him to stay away from her, away from her desirable blood so his low intolerance wouldn't get the best of him. He didn't seem concerned about it anymore. She overheard Carlisle telling Emmett one day, that Jasper's thirst had been more controllable with the death of Edward and Alice. He was more focused on her. She had no idea he cared so much, and she learned that he cared far beyond what she imagined when he said the only words he had said to her in the three months of their siblings deaths.

"I'll protect you, Bella," he said in his deep voice, only the slightest hint of southern drawl.

The sincerity of his words overwhelmed her, but she shook her head. "I don't care," she muttered. She really didn't care. What would it matter, if one more person died? Hadn't she deserved it? Why couldn't they hate her as much as she hated herself?

"We all care. We all feel pain. Don't make us lose you too."

"I'm not dying."

"Emotionally. Your guilt is killing you. Take a page from Emmett. He always says life is too long to be miserable, and they wouldn't have wanted that for you. None of us do."

She looked up to him, his gold eyes piercing into her brown. She noted the way his fair hair swept his brows, the curve of his cheekbone...

"Don't die, Isabella. Please." The desperate way he said it... The agony on his features...

She leaned into his side, inhaling his sweetness, the mark of a vampire, and then the unwanted tears leaked. She wept. She had never been that close to him, not ever, but it felt... Comfortable. The way he held her, his arms around her waist, was right. They fit.

It seemed shameful, that they wasted all the time they could've used to know each other better. Still, it was as though they did know each other. She was at ease, and it wasn't because of his abilities. He was letting her feel what she really felt. She owed so much to him. She wondered...

"Edward didn't believe that he was going to heaven. What do you believe?"

"I didn't believe in it either, but... Wherever they are, it has to be good. If there's a God, how could He not give them a heaven?"

She nodded against his shoulder. "Don't leave me..." She didn't know why she said it, but felt that it had to be said. She loved him, he was family, and she couldn't - didn't want to - survive losing someone else. She would get attach to him. That was clear. They were bounded, not by their siblings deaths, but in spirit as well. They were good for each other, seeing the best and accepting the bad.

"Bella, I'll never leave you." He pushed her away slightly, to look into her eyes once more. "I'll never, ever, leave you. If... Will you make me a promise?"

"Anything."

"You will be changed soon. I don't want to lose you either."

"How can you want me, Jasper? Any of you? It's because of me that they're gone!"

"That is _not_ your fault. Bella, no, listen to me!" He tucked his finger under her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "It's not your fault. They died by trying to protect all of us. They died honorably and they would have no regrets about it. They loved you and we love you. You are family and any of us would do what they did. You would do the same for us. It wasn't unfair. No one asked them."

"If I hadn't come around -"

"Then our lives would be considerably less dramatic, yes. That doesn't make us love you any less, in Emmett's case, it makes him love you more. You're our daughter, our sister, my..." He hesitated, bringing in a breath and flinching. "You're my reason for existing now."

She swallowed thickly. "You're my reason for living. For dying."

He smiled, understanding the meaning of her words. He swept his hands down her arms, chills rising in their wake, and he took her hands. With gentleness, he kissed her forehead.

Bella's life shifted once more, and this time, she saw a future unclouded by a zombie-state of guilt. Like Alice had seen, she saw herself as one of them, happy. She would forever miss Edward and Alice, she would forever pine for their company. It would be a hole inside of her. But Jasper was right, she should take a page from Emmett's book. It would be a long road, but it would be worth it.

There at their brother's piano, Jasper and Bella had made a vow that went deeper than any vow had gone before. They made a vow to be together forever.

* * *

A/N: This is just a one-shot.


End file.
